My Most Annoying Series - Chapter 3

Since I am pretty sure I don't have a lot of "family" members who are "Followers", I made up a list of Annoying Things about house guests and eccentricities and quirks of certain family members that can teeter between nasty to disturbing.

This reminds me of a mutated movie I would fondly call as, "When The Fockers Met The Incredibles."

Let me start with the number 1 thing that totally gets me when there are house guests:

• Piles of dirty dishes that never seem to end.  Leaving so much mess and not even enough decency to clean up their own.  (I am sure they aren't this messy when they're in their own home, or are they?)
• Oh sometimes, the guests bring their kids.  You know, those little creatures that throw a chewed bubble gum on your hair then when it gets stuck, they laugh like possessed banshees? Imagine house guests that travel with kids between the age range of 3 - 11 years old?  My Mom said they are family so I should try to be nice. (She must be kidding.  I'd rather deny any blood affinity with those monsters.)  
• The guests' kids fighting, crying and screaming. I could barely say, "Aww, that's cute!" (This is not your house and I would love to call 911 to report "host battery and abuse!")
• Did they say 3 days or 3 weeks?  (That's it, I am staying in a hotel)
• Look, honestly, I am a good person and I am generally warm and loving.  However there is another type of house guests - visiting family. If I have been driving around everyday for a week to fulfil the silly bunch of widowed Aunties and Unmarried older cousins I call, Old Swingles',  dream fantasy shopping and salon sprees; (with my Mom in tow so I can't say NO), I can only take on so much.  I believe over-exposure to stupid banters, PMS cat-fights, Hollywood gossip, political impasse', back-stabbing stories and blame putting on "who passed gas again in an air-conditioned SUV" can be hazardous for any one's health.  It could even be carcinogenic.

• You know what the worst part is, when the house guests can't decide where to go. My Aunts for instance will say, "Wherever and whatever is fine" and you take the liberty of choosing an activity like a rabid event manager. The moment you get to the place of your choice, they start with endless "editorials" and rather insulting "quips".  (I think the crime is called multiple counts of murder, so I stay calm and composed while I quietly suffer from acid reflux.)
• Sometimes however, guests can be pretty generous and they are travel ready to spend.  I love those Aunts and Uncles.  I never turn down an offer when they want to foot the bill for petrol or dining and shopping for souvenirs. There are a few who play the "endless" shuffle with you as to who got his credit card first.   I play this shuffle very well. I leave my entire wallet at home, I put my Driver's License in the pocket of my jeans, and pretend I am an honest-to-goodness chauffeur. Hah!  Sue me.  
• I don't mind the "personal chauffeur" role, but I hate "clingy" guests.  ("Of course we've been here twice, because the third time around, you are going on your own!")
• Conversations with jet-lagged people?  I don't.  I give them a small pocket book on Word Puzzles and Anagrams or Soduku.  And I go on my peaceful life.
• Fine, so they can't sleep.  But how long do I have to put up with the raucous?  iPods don't drown them when what I really need is some peaceful sleep.
• Phone bills.  Maybe I should set the standard rates including calls made from my mobile phone, what do you think?
• Messing with my pets.  They are my pets and I love them. (If you touch them again and  dream that you can mess with their heads, I will have to introduce you to my little friend - said in the typical Pacino drawl)

Say Hello To My Little Friend

My MOST ANNOYING Series - Chapter 2

I am just getting warmed up, y'know.  I want to rant about the things that annoy me most about people's behaviours in public places. There are days when I feel like just torching their sorry asses so at least there is something I can laugh about. You see here, it's not that I totally get annoyed all the time and I explode into flames. There are just days when it is very hard to ignore them.  

For instance, when eating or dining outside, I find these as the most disturbing things people do and other oddities that are annoying that you can easily spot, because they are just ...there:

• People with really bad table manners and are noisy eaters. I was told about this in Kinder class when we used to play bubbles with our drool and soup. I never really forgot, but these people just totally did!
• People who bite into large giga-chunks of food and chew these with their mouth open!
• People who whinge and whine about their weight whilst you watch them devour pure unadulterated greasy meals, their mouth laced with coloured sauces and oil.  Just uggh!
• Dining with an extremely "picky" eater.  I have also learned through some short stint with a hotel and restaurant business, that you MUST never be too picky and condescend on waiters that serve you. (Unless you know what is going on in the kitchen, never, ever dare!)  

• People who take forever to order in a fast food counter, especially when I'm in the line of a queue that has grown to over 2 dozen irate customers!
• People in dining areas who suddenly sneeze or cough without at least attempting to cover their mouth with a napkin or a tissue or even their hands.  It's just ewww! (Some attempt to cover their sneeze with their hands, but the dreadful thing happens when they wipe the slosh on their coats or pants! Good lord!)
• Running out of toilet rolls and paper towels in a public restaurant's rest rooms!
• Waiters/Waitresses who hold the lips of glasses before they serve it to you.  And I am scared of complaining because I know what they can do... arrgghh!
• Customers who leave the door open when they are in the public loo.  Godawful!
• Bad hygiene in a public loo.  'Nuff said.
• "Excessive" PDA.  I mean "excessive", go figure!  This relates closely to loud and "vulgar" talk/speak - their voices are heard above the din and clutter.  I don't want to listen but I can hear it!
• When the Cashier gives you the change in small bills and coins on top of the wad of bills.  It takes a moment to organize these back into your wallet or pocket and it honestly makes you look like a fool.
• Bars where the music is way too damn loud, you step out of it with your ears buzzing and a sore throat.
• I understand it is part of the whole training and marketing bit, but when someone recites TODAY's Specials to me and I have to particularly feign some interest. It is honestly downright tiring to keep a smile on my face.
• Restaurants that have a Smoking Section about three steps away from the Non-Smoking Section.  The exchange of looks between the Smokers and Non-Smokers can start the Third World War!  What in the world ...?
• Just when you thought you got the perfect spot in a dining area, you comfortably plop on your seat, breathe in, look around, and then the table wobbles!

I could go on and on, but I also don't want to torture myself with these thoughts so I better rest it.  Maybe next time, I will talk about Annoying House Guests or Annoying Habits of My Friends. Hah!  And the list goes on ...