Irreverence and Me

Amongst the endearing qualities I am most likely to be described, irreverent must likely fall on the Top 3.

Nah, I do not actually resolve to absolute profanity every nano second that I open my mouth nor do I go out of my way to disrespect or be rude at any recognized belief or value systems and spiritual preferences. But I always had a problem with "figures of authority" so to speak.

The few of you who might know a little bit of me for real, and who may have chanced upon reading some of my earlier posts either on this Blog or my other Blog, Almost But Not Quite, you would probably know I was raised by my Dad who served in the army; a soldier; a war veteran. A bugle call and the Taps are just some of the things that are considered "regular" in our household. If a spoken joke is intended to be sarcastic, I have learned to live with the phrase, "pocket your smile!"

Whilst everyone in the entire clan would cringe in fear just hearing my father clear his throat, I grew up to be the perfect foil, to a home ruled under martial law, an impish scallywag. 

I had a distinct leverage, I was the only girl and for anyone who grew up in a testosterone dominated environment, being the only girl would earn you massive advantage points. Somewhere along the line, I acquired a rather fearless attitude in voicing my mind and my opinions, however stinky-poo they may be and a rather rebellious tendency when it comes to "controls" and regulations.

This tendency has bloomed to become a streak and has matured to become a trait and I have my fair share of fortunate and ridiculously unfortunate experiences with brushes against individuals who makes policies and makes out with their rules.

Certainly I abide to logical and rational principles based on respect and preservation of human dignity. It does not mean I follow all rules when they are generally stupid and bordering on insane.

I believe everyone has the right to question and to hold an opinion and everyone has the right to be listened to and understood. If it does not make any sense, I will say so. 

I believe in discipline and a value for order as well as governance. I will never negotiate intelligence and the human capacity for smarts. Rather than embracing a dogma, I am more pragmatic. To my mind, a "title" does not earn you any respect; neither does your "stripes" if you behave by all means, like a douche-bag. Holding a position of power does not give you the power unless I attribute the power to you to control how I think and how I feel. You will always be powerless if I don't believe you to hold any significance to influence my life. A lot of people call this mindset, irreverence. I simply call it a having a mind.

It is quite untrue to say I never learned anything under the military household. As a matter of fact, I have acquired a few practical principles that curbed my hostility against authority figures ( honestly, as I grew up I understood the meaning of obey...), and I took away a couple of sure-fire tips that helped me through surviving the warfare that is called "life". Life to begin with, is a daily combat. If you read through Murphy's Laws of Combat, don't pocket your smile, the rules hold true wherever or whatever your conditions are.

And for everything he has taught me, my Dad will always be my hero.

"I HAVE NOT FAILED....

... I'VE JUST FOUND 10,000 WAYS THAT WON'T WORK." A particularly endearing Thomas Edison Quote.

There's absolutely no use to tell anyone who this dude is. If you don't know Thomas Alva Edison, you must be losing a little spark somewhere. He had very little formal education but he had a persistent curious nature that had led him to discover and invent breakthroughs in science that greatly influences human lives to date. His verbal skills were quite slow as he started talking only until he was almost 4 years of age, but he had an insatiable desire to search for the answers to his highly fertile mind.  We would probably categorize him these days as borderline autistic and/or even ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and prescribe some Ritalin. Enable or disable him with drugs until he becomes completely useless and cast him off in society as a total "weirdo". He would live a solitary life, lose all of his friends, his chances for a decent  career. Meanwhile, the rest of the world would probably still be living in the dark ages.

Except, back then, his one and true faithful supporter was his mother who believed that somewhere in that rather odd and unusual demeanour lies a brilliant mind.

Now, just because "Inventors" were typical of the 19th century, what has made humanity so cynical and jaded in the 21st century to throw a judging and suspicious eye on anyone who tries to run against the mainstream and not flow with the norms? What has made society these days isolate the "geniuses" into a sweeping category like "nerds" and "geeks" or even in worst case scenarios, "unfit and unwanted" based on prevailing societal standards? What the hell happened?

I am not saying that back in those days there weren't any segregation or discrimination, there were probably worst conditions more than I would know. However, the likes of Edison and other influential people of the early centuries that have become world famous for defying the norms, characteristically withstood the mundane pressure and persevered their causes. The persistence and tenaciousness of Edison in the face of failures and unimaginable heckling has made his name synonymous to the world's best self-taught inventor.

Meanwhile, the rest of us humans of the 21st century, gloat and bask in our ascribed limitless knowledge of the universe; whine at the slightest discomfort and inconvenience; mock anyone who stands out against the norm; label people into classes such as failures, idiots, losers, morons or all of the above; completely lose our sense of dignity by believing we are superior above all the garbage we have idolized and icon-ized. 

We just lost it.

Our sense of curiosity; exploration; trying and failing; defying common rules that are generally wrong; standing up for our uniqueness and truly respecting diversity. Believing in something, or someone, or a cause that is far greater than the universe itself. We have succumbed to self-love and a generation that believes that the best world view is from our own individual perspective. 

Admit it. we did. Yes we have become more tolerant of gender preferences, religious and even political views; but have we embraced terms that we did not create? 

Have we stood defiant and persisted on an idea in spite of possible ridicule and standing out from the crowd? 

Do we respect "brilliance" that is not ours or from our kind? 

If it is not in Wikipedia, do we know where to search for answers? 

Have we accepted that failure is a necessary evil to further stretch ourselves or do we even know what is to "stretch" when everything else we need can be accessed by our fingertips?

Have we found 10,000 ways that won't work, or did we even try?

Being The Best Loser You Can Be

Don't you ever think that to be an all-time Loser is any way a walk in the park. "Winning" is hard work, try being a total loser --- it's an extraordinary feat.

Achieving greatness in life is so commonplace and tacky. Do you have any idea at all how to aspire to be mediocre? And the challenge of sustainability? Consistent mediocrity? You think it's easy?

Well tell you what, I can share with you a few tricks of the trade, if you are serious about becoming a TRUE LOSER. Let me warn you, if you are not careful, you might just have greatness thrown upon you, it pays to be prepared and cautious, otherwise you might just end up failing and start winning.

• Think Loser. Why even attempt at earning a decent means of living? Mooch. You will never run out of family or friends that are suckers for parasites like you. Exhaust this resource.
• Sleep In. Come on, why become a worm and be an early riser? As they say, the general rule is, everything important happens before lunch. So wake up one or two hours AFTER lunch. You don't want to have to catch anything important. Let the distressed strivers take their morning run or walk whilst you snore.
• Be absolutely blameless. If you never step to the plate to take on some responsibility, you will never be at fault. Never say yes to ANY responsibility or even relationships. Relationships require effort, sacrifice, doing things and being inconvenienced, listening to things you don't really want to. So why mess it all up? If you are able to protect yourself this way, then you will never be blamed. Spotless.
• Avoid Failure.  The best way to avoid pain, rejection, frustration and failing is not to try at all. And if by some odd trick of fate you find yourself on the spot, then expect to lose. Just surrender early, no pressure. You have managed to avoid tension, angst, self-doubt, the whole blah-blah.
• Be obnoxious. If you think this is too lame, then be rude. A true blue loser has no friends. If you find yourself getting a wee bit attached to anyone at all, sleep with his boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse (if in case they are too young, sleep with any of his parents); and say something really mean to him/her. That way, anyone who even attempts to be close is within arm's length.

If you can stick by these simple rules of Loser-dom, then you are on your way to becoming the best loser you can be!

She's Just NOT Into You

I decided to post about this subject mainly to even out the playing field. I find the rules of engagement rather skewed towards the other gender. As I recall, they even made a book and movie out of "He's Not Just That Into You" and probably even killed it.
Well it's about time someone from the other side of the planet wrote something truthfully (or close enough) to spell this out, in the most simple terms as possible for easy read and hopefully, understanding.
I know, it's being ambitious. 
Arguably, our exceptional species find it difficult to decide amongst things or people that we actually LIKE. However, when we DON'T like, it's pretty much written on the walls in bold letters. Even a crocodile can take the hint. Unfortunately, some guys just don't get it. Either that or they are absolutely disturbed, totally damaged or with criminal intentions.
A Restraining Order can be issued on extreme cases, for the few creeps who are fiercely tenacious, bordering on stalking. If in any case you have not been served a TRO, this does not mean you have hope either.
Here's a list of a few simple and honest indicators:
1.  She avoids all points of contacts. 
You call her. Her phone directs you to voice mail all the time. You leave a message but she never calls back. You try through the Net, but she could have changed her name (probably even Status) on Facebook, Twitter, Google and tumblr or everything else in between. If she keeps her name, your Friend Request will be pending till kingdom come. It's impossible for her to update her twits and be playing games on fb if she was offline, right?
You don't need to check her Phone Directory to see for yourself the name she has assigned for you. It would be plainly spelled out as any of these: Weirdo; Scumbag; Crap Face; Dick the Douche; Joe Creepo; to name a few. 
If she likes you, she'll call back. If you send her a text, she'll reply. If she does and all you get is: "Oh yeah, it's you, lol." Honestly? "lol, yeah" is technically translated to: "NO, I don't like you." Some of us are really just too nice to break it into, "why are you calling me? I don't want you to."  

2.  She tries to be subtle and polite.

If you asked her out and she does not say outright, "Hell, no" BUT she keeps on rescheduling, cancelling or giving excuses about having to check her calendar - nah, she's absolutely cold. You see, we have our priorities, and for things we consider important, we MAKE time. 
You have to at least be more important than a foot scrub. Or are you still buying her excuse that her pooch or cat is sick every Thursday and Friday night, every single week? Get a life.
3. She plays Hopscotch. With You.
She is avoiding all types of physical contact at all costs. We have our personal space and we only allow people into that space that we choose. 
You move one step closer, and she moves one step back ... you try to touch her whilst you speak and she flinches ... you brush your thigh against hers and she nearly pukes ... yep. 
In the rare moments when you could have her alone, all her girlfriends box her out tighter than a full court defence. 'Nuff said.

4. She finds you UN-Funny.

If we happen to like you, no matter how silly, corny or even stupid your joke is, we laugh. Heartily even. We throw our head back, we flip our hair. We'll make it a point to at least smile, even if the joke sucks.If you see a different look on our face similar to a constipated growl, it's time you reconsider.

5. She babbles about her cute crushes, her "hot dates' or the cute guy she just met.

Come on, this is not rocket science. Get used to hearing, "Oh him, yeah, he's a good friend."

Friend zoned.

6. She has a boyfriend/husband/fiancee'/ex/someone else she is sleeping with.

She's attached. She's never ever leaving Mr. Whoever. The odds are against you. She could even be lying about a certain Mr. Whoever just to get rid of you. Whatever it is, you're likely Contingency Plan Number 5, anyway.

7. She always "forgets."

When you think of the female brain, think in terms of elephant brain. We never forget, well hardly ever. If you have made plans with her and then she completely forgets, don't be so stupid! Chances are, there was something better to do, or likely someone better to do -- and it ain't you!

Still not getting it? Here, let me stamp it out for you.

Strange Fears In The New Age

I have always been fascinated with the concept of phobias. It's quite interesting how we acquire this irrational fear of certain things. Whether it is a function of a childhood trauma, an early on experience that predisposes an individual to this type of behaviour, as an outcome of aberrant upbringing, damaging experiences or environment. Simply put, it is just a little something that isn't so right.

I suffer from acrophobia - yes, fear of heights.

Don't let me get started on this one, talking about it makes me totally nauseous. I was told by my therapist, when under hypnosis as he facilitated my regression; that back when I was barely a year old, I hung from the banister with one hand, when I tried crawling down the flight of stairs in the house where we used to live. For a brief moment of my daredevil stunt, I looked down. Perhaps like all babies in the crawling age, there was no fear then, but the visual of the distance between where I was suspended and down the stairs, must have gotten stuck in my neurons somewhere. Yeah, curses! To-date, I still dread having to look down from any elevated place. I imagine myself falling and breaking my frickin' neck. 

I yet have to zip-line, to once and for all, deal and confront this fear. A full bottle of Jack chased down with half a bottle of Tequila, would not be a bad idea to encourage me from pushing myself to be up for the challenge. (Damn it, now my fingers are sweaty with the thought!)

But what I have found most curious above all, is the proliferation of fears that have been uncovered and explored fairly recent in our centuries-old world. I am talking about extremely unique fears and phobias, I find it rather disturbing that my own phobia of heights is considered commonplace, an all-time classic, compared to the the "new age" phobias.

Nipponophobia - fear/dislike of the Japanese or anything Japanese

Sinophobia - fear/dislike of Chinese (I would not be surprised if they come up with a Mongolophobia or fear of anything that descended from the Mongol race)

Xenophobia - fear/dislike of foreigners and extra-terrestrials

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia - yup, fear of long words (such irony!)

Decidophobia - fear of making decisions; (fairly common in corporations and government)

Nihilophobia - fear of nothingness (I don't really have much to say about this)

Hexakosioihexekontahexaohobia - fear of the number 666 (must have been triggered by the movie series, THE OMEN, as the film highlighted the number of the beast, the anti-Christ)

Disposophobia - the fear of losing or getting rid of things; (more popularly known as "compulsive hoarding"; I recklessly declare this is pretty much an acquired fear and more common among adults who have experienced or are experiencing recession)

Workplace phobia - quite self-explanatory; I can attempt to elucidate, but what's the point?; can be referred to as the anti-thesis of workaholics

Technophobia - the fear/dislike of technology, especially computers and other complex devices (remember the Luddites?); you'll be surprised, but this phobia is quite prevalent across the globe. You can spot technophobes easily, chances are, they don't Blog.