Just Sayin'

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Vampire Romanticism and Tweenies

There's a virulent fascination with vampires and everything bloodsucking these days that is happening amongst the tweenies (twenty somethings) and teenagers.
It's swelled up to large proportions brought about by the cult following of Meyer's Twilight Series.

I read all four books.  So sue me.  I have been an avid reader of this genre from  Stephen King to Anne Rice and every other author in between.

However Meyer's formula of glorifying romance between an undead and a human is so spot on it tickled the sentimentalities of the gen Y populace.  How else would you explain the rise in vampire related series on TV when I only had the luxury of enjoying Buffy?

You see here, this is vampire slayer. 

Totally cute and petite.
Fast and feisty.  Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Even in this series, there was a raging sexual tension between the bloodsuckers and the bloodsuckee. (okay I just invented that word, but it sounds rather apt)

And then here is the wave of the new vampires.  Ian Somerhalder in Vampire Diaries.  
Dang it!  It is so NOT FAIR!

Now tell me honestly; if this guy ever comes up to you in an eerie, isolated parking lot on a dark night as you drunkenly try to crawl back to your car and he tells you, "I am going to bite you in the neck and suck the life out of you, in return, I will give you immortality and eternity with me", would you say NO?  I mean, really...  would you say, "Bugger off!"
Come on.
Any warm blooded female homo sapiens would willingly offer more than her neck to this dude.
Since I am an old soul in terms of vampire romanticism, anybody who has had a purview of the history of vampires would understand exactly what I am talking about.
Vampires ain't all pretty and hot and buffed with six-pack (okay even 8-pack) abs.  And if you believe they can stay vegan for all eternity, who are you kidding?
Aye, so where's the rub?  The partiality towards a love affair between an immortal and mortal is as old as Caligula.  Fine, maybe a bit younger.  This propensity for eternal youth and immortality is the Don Quixote in every man.  The dreamer, the mystical romantic.  We are such suckers for that one elusive impossible dream, the one that can never be, the life that can only be imagined but not lived.  That pretext as a given only needs a small spark to blaze it.  
The formula is quite simple, hot dudes with vampire fangs plus hot chicks willing to be bitten, is equal to a phenomenon that rakes in dollars at the box office.  It is not that all romantic, really.  It is an effective and successful business model.  Ah!! But there's more, let's add a third character.  The hot werewolf.  Gawd, who's to argue about that one?  
Spice your Erehwon with a  love triangle between a vampire, a werewolf and a human.  Whilst this idea is bordering on the insane, it sells!  Totally rocks the tills! It is an excellent marketing plan and though the selling points are not unique, the enhancements and features are way too attractive for their market to decline.
If you're not buying it, somebody is.  As a matter of fact, a huge lot of somebodies are buying it and taking it all in.  The huge movie production executives will just tell you to chill, you are not in their target demography.  (hahaha)  
You're probably in the thirty something and above bracket, and have become too much of an adult to bother with ridiculous mythical love triangles.  If you can barely manage to balance your income tax, why would you even think about immortality?  
The numbers will tell you that the Global Median Age (as of 2010) is between 27-28, and the teens and tweenies would account for roughly 35-38% of the world population; and these are the guys who are totally contracted into this storyline.  They are the market.  The new era of Quixotism who dream about turning into a vampire, becoming a member of the Cullen clan or dating the hottest werewolf.  
Perhaps, that's the new twist in romance.  In my simple mind I see it more as an advent of a generation of escapists.  Escapists are idealists and stargazers and dreamers.  I don't seriously believe there is anything wrong with that. 
My generation lost touch with the dreamers in us.  We saw so much war and hate and racism and bigotry and injustice. Its almost a folly to be a romantic.  Pragmatism is a common mindset.

I personally wouldn't mind an alpha dog as a lifetime companion.  The top of the line werewolf is my immortal companion of choice, however.
I am rather picky.  


  1. No way would I say no to that guy either PB. I admit, I do not read a huge amount of fiction, but when I do, I love vamps. There is something so primatively sexy about someone with an unacceptable lust they are unable to control. A need that the world would frown on and want to kill them if they knew. It is just hot.

  2. Ok first of all, I have not bothered to read ANY of the Twilight books, because, well, my litereature of choice is probably, as you eluded too, quite Generation X, in it's sensibilities. Some of my favorite author's are Chuck Palahniuk ("Fight club"), Nick Hornby ("About A Boy"), Brett Easton Ellis ("American Psycho"), amongst other "older" writers that I feel I relate to their perspective.

    I really relate to your comment "My generation lost touch with the dreamers in us. We saw so much war and hate and racism and bigotry and injustice. Its almost a folly to be a romantic. Pragmatism is a common mindset." You're probably onto something there and it probably explains the style, cynicism, and darkness that surrounds the writing of most of my favorite authors.

    With that being said, I have a very good friend that is 32 years old. He got married at a young age due to he and his then girlfriend being due with their second child. They got married in 1999 and were proceeding with divorce in 2006. Ever since his divorce he's been mostly "playing the field", so to speak.

    He confirmed my suspicion one day when we were hanging out and got on the topic of women in their twenties, then somehow started talking about the TWILIGHT series. He's an extremely intelligent individual in a lot of ways. He's read all of them. He told me that they're fun and all that, but said there not anything "extraodinary" in the way of literary merit. I called him out on it. I said "you read those books, because it's one of the few things that you can find to relate with when you're trying to hook up with these 22-25 year old girls." He had a smirk, laughed, and confirmed that "yeah that's part of it." I knew it!

    Like I said though, I've never read them, so I probably shouldn't pass judgement on Meyer's literary merit. I haven't been much of a reader of any kind of science fiction or fantasy though since I was maybe, 12. Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is about as "Sci Fi" as I get.

  3. Dear Jamie - precisely, who would refuse to be immortal with that hot and yummy thing beside you for eternity?

    Dear CapRet - if you ever intend to date any of the tweenies, it wouldn't hurt to check out what they are into. Like a convo piece, that's all. There is nothing outstanding about the Twilight Saga. It is such an easy read compared to the darkness of your preferred literary. I read Fight Club and About A Boy. But that's because I chose to, not because everybody else did and I need to pipe in sometime in the discussion. That's how the books sell these days. it becomes a lame screenplay and a cult fad. But who are we to judge? I am still attention deficit and irreverent to this day and so are the Gen Y peeps. That much I share with them. :)

  4. Well, I'm stubborn and held out on both the TWILIGHT and HARRY POTTER series. I've dated twenty somethings quite a bit in the last few years. I just always hope to find some other common ground such as music tastes. You're right about "who are we to judge?" but I still do. I try not to but I do. Like I said before, as I get older I'm noticing some clear differences between 30 somethings and tweens. Oh, by the way, if you like Nick Hornby, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND "A Long Way Down". If you like Pahlaniuk, definitely check out "Haunted". Both novels would be right up your alley with your temperament and given your chosen profession.

  5. I come from the Anne Rice and before that Lost Boys era of vampires. I really hate how vampires have become so .... lame over the last few years. I have read every Patricia Briggs novel dealing with werevolves, vampires and such. Those are great newer generation books that do not so much romanticize the great things about the mythical creatures, but show them how they might really be. Cold-blooded killers who do the best they can in their environment. But, I digress.

    I will never read the Twilight series. Ever. Thankfully, I am not in fear of ever having to date anyone in their 20s.

    On the other hand, I agree that I'd totally become immortal if there was some hottie out there willing to turn me....

    Gah! that makes me a hypocrite, I guess.... sue me...haha

  6. Wow...to the post and to the comments...I had to read them all.
    I was just gonna say "way to go Psycho!" but now, with all the 'big' words people used...

    I feel a bit shy.
    I love when Retch types....he's so elequent.

  7. @Alicia. Ha ha. Thanks for the compliment. I didn't know I'm eloquent. It's a good front I guess, because I have no grace in the real world.

  8. Dear WingPerson Alice,
    Hey this is not even close to the sexy short story I read. lol
    Onyx and I here would both be willing victims if a vampire hottie comes along.
    As to our friend Retch, yep, he is just being shy. He is totally awesome even in real life, he just likes to play it down a notch.

  9. Yeah, totally, but I'd rather be bitten by Kieffer (sp?)-type vampire.. if I had my choice...

    But hey, I'd take what I could....