Swimsuit Ooops!

In keeping with the spirit of a Teen Fashion Blogger (hahahaha, I can hear my laughter bounce from the Tibetan mountains and back) I reckon it's time to give some great reminders on choosing the right swimwear without the unwanted "slips" and FAILs.  I like to qualify "unwanted" as some slips are desired, okay?

Good Lord!

• Looking absolutely hideous is totally out!. You see here, I know she's having a great time, so I really don't have the heart to tell her something is going terribly wrong with her swimsuit.  Sure, the colour is bright and contrasting, ergo there's nothing much I can say about her colour choice, it's really a cool colour ... but .. but ....

WTF?

 If you don't have it, then you don't have it.  So let me tell you this.  JUST DON'T DO IT!  Have a heart please. I know everyone has the right to wear a swimsuit they prefer, I was referring to the hearts of the other people who might chance upon seeing you in yours. Looking like the Queen of the Damned or holding your breath for more than a 180 seconds, unless you are a licensed deep sea diver, is not good for your health and may actually turn you from a bronze tan to purplish blue.  And that's not funny.

Yes You can!

• When it's not there, improvise!  There are a variety of ways to create optical illusions.  I said that in a previous post.  ILLUSIONS  Your eyes tend to tell you things that are there even if they are not really there.  Use this principle wisely.  Follow your basic geometry, the law of lines and curves.  Curve a line to create an illusion of shape.  Principle of mass in physics, and density, in chemistry.  Ever heard of ruffles and wonder bras?  Don't they make you wonder what is, and what is not?

Booyah!

• Secure against the law of gravity.  If you happen to have more than a fair Cup C size, you may encounter some difficulties in keeping the fastened, fastened; and the clasped, clasped.  This is a particularly helpful reminder if you happen to be swimming in public and not in the privacy of your home pool or your spa.  Remember Murphy's Law.  What can go wrong, will go wrong.  There's a fabulous way around this you know, and not everyone on a plus, plus size should dread the summer beach look.  A winning smile, confidence  and lovely skin would always score beauty points whether it be in Maldives, Boracay or Rio.
• Blame it on the "VOICES"!  If you catch yourself being guilty of any of these, you can always tell the people, "the voices told me to wear them"!  When some evil designer invented the thongs, it did not come with a fair warning that the design is NOT intended for everyone to use.  If you are not gifted with the perfect buns, you should not even dream about it.  The men's Borat V-shaped swimsuit became such a hit for the testosterone crowd, nobody dared say otherwise.  I would if this was my man.  I would kill him myself before I allow him to go public and be laughed at if he wears a V-shaped thong or mesh swim shorts.  I will ask for forgiveness after but I can pretty much justify why I had to do it.  The voices made me do it too!  

The voices!

• And just because.  Fine, so you may think I am having a great time babbling and bashing these mishaps and epic swimsuit failures, NOT! As a matter of fact, I think I kinda like a touch of uniqueness when I choose to romp at the beach.  Nothing beats the cozy His and Hers Look.  It's a definite head turner and last I checked, an unforgettable visual some people are still having great dreams about it.  Fine, you can be so picky, so what if several people consider their dreams to be nightmares?  Bottom line, summer is supposed to be fun, frolic and all about "fuckery'! hahahaha...

Jenny & Jim

Photo Credits.  Not mine. Borrowed. "Fuckery" c/o nitecruzz. Post Made by Piabella@.

DC Comics, Hot Marvel Heroes, The Green Lantern

Well I love to read comics.  What did you expect?  I only read biographies, philosophies, mystery novels and Coehlo?  Come on people, I am much more regular than that.

I must have told you I grew up with boys, or have you forgotten? Well if I didn't say it yet on this Blog, I remember having said it here. Understanding Men. 

So I pretty much inherited some wealth in terms of mint condition collectibles from the boys.  That would likely explain why I would not have movie adaptations of the likes of the Justice League heroes and the X-Men pass without my little "critique" on casting or story lines.  I will try to forget about Hugh Jackman as Wolverine for a while, because I am too partial to hold any critique on that one. (sigh ...) 

Hugh Jackman

Well each time I hear a DC or Marvel comic hero being cast, my ears twitch and I have my own bets as who is best to do this and that role. Tobey Maguire for instance as "Spiderman" was probably in my, uhmm .. Top 30 40.  Arguably though, he did enough pull in the "ka-ching" area, box office-wise, otherwise, somebody explain the number of sequels to me!  And I would not even dare argue this on the basis of box office sales, internationally.

But with that being said,  I reckon there has been a couple of unsuccessful casting of actors that would play certain heroes and heroines that still leave me squirming in my seat.

Why do I think to this day that after Christopher Reeve, every other actor who played Superman was "lame"?  Look, they did better in choosing Superman's arch-nemesis, Lex Luthor. For instance, Kevin Spacey absolutely rocked that role! I am not sure if you still remember but the 2006 "Superman Returns" had Brandon Routh play the lead role.  Don't give me that open jaw look and ask, Brandon who?  Yeah.  That one. Quite a looker actually.  End of story. I am now inclined to believe there is some truth that Superman and being cast in the movie, is one of Hollywood's urban myth/curse that holds a little tinge of empirical proof.

Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man - I found that priceless.  Even Mickey Rourke as nemesis, ooh lala, that just completely fills up the screen with splattered testosterone!  But Downey has always been one of my  favourites, even back in the days of pre-cocaine, during and every rehab episode and post-rehab.  So I am pretty biased on him too and his talent.

Quite noticeably, well at least in the last decade or so, on top of the incremental fascination of directors and producers, (who I suspect are Gen X-ers that now have disposable income to live out their childhood fantasies), there is a marked obsession on making more comic hero and story adaptations.  And as if we have not had enough of this heresy, comes in The Green Lantern.

There were talks this lead role would have been given to Bradley Cooper (yep, the hot dude in Hangover 1 and 2 albeit I remember him more as the bastard in the movie, "He's Not That Into You") or even Jared Leto, the American musician turned actor who has made a definite impression on me playing character roles in "The Fight Club", "Alexander" and "American Psycho."

My bet, Ryan Reynolds, although I was quietly wishing they would cast Will Smith, landed the role and I personally feel no disappointment.

I generally watch movies for the entertainment value and recreation.  Whilst I do occasionally (fine so I do frequently) enjoy being terrified, or being mind twisted, I like to watch comic adaptations to check out on how advance the CGI has progressed in terms of visual impact and editing; and how good the choice of cast has been decided.  I reckon Reynolds fit that bill as the "Green Lantern" with enough hotness, bravado and "funnies" rolled in a package.  After all, it is the only movie I have seen where the rest of the characters did not buy into that stupid hero "mask" as adequate to conceal one's identity.

I still find it to this date absolutely ridiculous and rather insulting, that Superman will fall for a woman like Lois Lane, who is such an idiot to begin with,  to be unable to tell Clark Kent from Superman.  After all, he just takes off his glasses when he dons his tights.  But duhh ... 

Check out the Green Lantern.  It definitely promises a sequel.

Words. Powerful.

LIFE

LOVE

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Rainy Days Don't Mean You Should Look Fugly

DISCLAIMER:  This is NOT A Fashion Blog.  It would look and feel like a Fashion Blog.  Even sound like a Fashion Blog.  But I swear it's NOT!  If you insist it is, people are entitled to their own opinions and perceptions.

I have noticed that when the rainy days come, people swing between the broad spectrum of either a walking nightmare or a garbage bin on two legs.  I can only rationalize it that perhaps people tend to be generally too lazy and lethargic to fix up, (well people with innate hygiene problems are not included here) or too off-season and dolls up instead.
I want to talk about the nightmares that I come across usually attendant with the heavy rains.  No we are not talking about mushrooms.  I have a list of the most Annoying Rainy Days Mistakes in terms of visual appeal and common sense.

How can you smile?

Leather Boots - are you serious?  Fine I know they make you look and feel sexy.  But what if you accidentally walk into a puddle and get these glorious things wet?  Try smelling your feet when you take them off.  I can go on and describe this sensation vividly and graphically, but you catch my drift?
Leather everything - whether it's a jacket, or a skirt or pants, try getting them wet.  The consequences are written ^ up there.
Sun-dresses - I hear you, rainy days can be rather gloomy and sad, but do you really think wearing your sheer floral sun-dress is making a statement?  It probably is.  It is saying I have totally lost all sense and sensibilities crossing the Sahara during the height of summer.  You can splash a little colour on your look, but does it have to be your favourite summer dress?
Heavy Suits and Bulky Sweaters - Sure it can be a bit chilly.  What I don't get is when people like to walk around like the Pillsbury dough-boy.  Can we at least be a little realistic and try to avoid looking like an over-stuffed, with everything on it, Burrito?  If you are not a Size 0 - 2, please don't bulk with layers!
Sky High, Cigarette and Stilettos - Yes even Dior can make a mistake.  Not everyone walks in a ramp.  Unless you are Beyonce' who walks around with 5 mutant bodyguards and gets to walk 3 feet away from her car, just DON'T! If you have never broken a bone in your life and never been embarrassed sliding or falling flat on your face and buns, just don't. I don't care how short you are and chubby.  don't add stupid to the adjectives that will be used to describe you.

Are you serious?

Cute Umbrellas - I would like to think you choose protection from the sun (a parasol) or protection from the rain (a real umbrella). Why would anyone want to look like they are just here for a photo opportunity?  What the hell?  If the umbrella can't even cover your shoulders, then just use it to swat the flies!
Heavy Make-Up - I don't have anything against colours on the face as much as I am a skin care fanatic.  But the rains and the shifting humidity can inadvertently affect your skin's quality to retain the right amount of moisture and oil.  This would lead to accidental and unintentional emo-goth smeared look for the fortunate ones, and for the unfortunate ones, you just look really look like a slob with cheap make-up on.  Others would conclude the Rapture did happen and the Zombies are out on the streets.  Sue me.
You know what?  I am just human.  I am just being honest. I sometimes yield to the pressure of laughing at these visual disasters and I occasionally oblige myself to join with a couple of like-minded bitchy friends to demean these "victims" behind their backs while we sip coffee and snap photographs to upload on our Blogs and web sites.  

Please give yourselves a break.  If you don't know how to look decent on rainy days or sunny days, then don't go out at all!  Stay in your cubby-hole or your little corner of the world and do not allow to give people like me, a chance to belittle your lack of common sense.  Please.  I am trying to really be a good person.  But what the? 

On second thought, the coffee wouldn't taste as good without the spice of other people's lack of taste.  Just sayin'.  La dee dah ...

FOR THE RECORD

A POST FROM THE LADY BLOGGERS' SOCIETY:  READ ON:

( Author's note:

I HAVE NOW COMPLETELY DELETED MY COFFEE AND SMOKES CHAT BLOG.

THIS INFANTILE ITERATIVE CYCLE IS INSULTING TO MY FOLLOWERS' INTELLIGENCE AND A WASTE OF TIME.

BUT I JUST WANT IT SAID, I DID NOT EMAIL MISS STEPHANIE CUEVAS BLINDLY, I POSTED ON THEIR GUEST BLOG, SIGNED MY NAME AND WHEN I DID NOT GET A REPLY, I EMAILED HER DIRECT.

WHAT YOU WILL SEE IN HER POST BELOW IS AN EDITED CUT AND PASTE.

THIS WILL BE THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THIS RIDICULOUSNESS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND TIME.)

LBS IS NOT HIJACKING (LOL!)

I needed to write up a quick blog post about some of the speculation that is going on about hijacking another bloggers blog.

LBS is not hijacking anyones blog to gain new followers.

The owner of another blog contacted me on Tuesday saying that our blog posts have been being emailed to her readers for the past and if I didn’t stop blogging her blog would be shut down. She told me that Google had told her that if I had posted again, that her blog would be shut down. So she said I had 24 hours to stop doing what I was doing.

Her wording was such: (I have updated it with the complete e-mail)THIS IS FROM MY GUEST BLOG POST THAT NEVER GOT PUBLISHED.

I WILL ALSO BE POSTING CONTINUALLY WHEREVER AND WHENEVER AN OPPORTUNITY IS AVAILABLE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR DECEPTIVE MEANS OF EMBEDDING YOUR OWN CODES ON PEOPLE XTML BLOG CODES.

THIS MAY VERY WELL MEAN THE CLOSURE OF YOUR ACCOUNT, YET I WILL ELEVATE THIS TO PROPER AUTHORITIES AS YOU HAVE TO BE GIVEN SANCTIONS FOR COMMITTING A FEDERAL OFFENCE.

TRUST ME; I NEVER BACK DOWN ON MY PROMISES.

Of course I was very defensive when someone says they will slander my name and contact the proper authorities, and accusing me of something without contacting me properly first.

I emailed her back immediately from my phone letting her know that I haven’t the slightest clue how this could have happened, that I do nothing but click the Publish button on my blog, and that I wish she would have let me know sooner about this problem instead of the day before while I was pool side with my family, and that I had only 24 hours.  I WAS COUNTING ON SOME HONESTY AND INITIATIVE.  BUT SOMETIMES, PEOPLE CAN BE VERY DISAPPOINTING.

Yet, even from my phone, trying to get my 4 year old out of the pool, I emailed some programmer friends of mine, as well as people helping out with the conference and we found nothing on our end that could support this. Nothing.THEY SAW THEIR ADMIN SOURCE CODES BUT DECIDED NOT TO EDIT IT.  I SENT THEM THE LINK FROM URIEL.

We did find out that it was probably something with her feed, and not ours. I had never followed her blog, never heard about this blogger. Nothing. Again. IT'S THEIR AUTHOR'S ID IN MY SOURCE CODE.  I DON'T SEE MY BLOGS FED TO THEIR FOLLOWERS.  IT'S CALLED IDIOCY.  PLUS I WAS A FOLLOWER OF THIS LADY BLOGGERS' SOCIETY IN THE BEGINNING.  SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED MY BLOG PAGE HAD THE BADGE.  I WONDER WHY SHE SAYS SHE HAD NOT HEARD OF ME,  I ONCE HAD A BLOG POST IN THEIR FORUM.  I KNOW I HAVE A COUPLE OF FOLLOWERS I MET THERE.

So after spending my day going through e-mailing my friends, and not updating the blog for 2 days until I could find a solution, I e-mailed her back letting her know that I haven’t been able to come up with a reason or how to fix it. If anything, we came up with, she would need to remove something on her blog or feed.

LBS has over 2300 google followers and 3100 feedburner subscribers. I have no intention of hijacking someones site to e-mail their 100 followers.That is not something worth my time, or interest. I rarely have the time to e-mail our own subscribers. SURE RUB IT IN.  MY BLOG IS A TADPOLE COMPARED TO THEIR GODZILLA LEGION.

LBS has gained all their followers independently.

I let her know that with all the subscribers I have, they expect new content. In addition I also have to update followers about the conference, I have contracts with the Blog Frog, etc. I can not NOT update my blog.

If she was not able to fix that problem and Google would shut down her blog, I let her know that I would be more than happy to add her new blog to our sponsors page free of charge, as well as write a blog post containing her new blog, add her info to her Twitter and Facebook, as well as let people know that situation, hopefully giving her some exposure for people to add her.

What I do not appreciate is people commenting on this blog calling me a hacker, which was this bloggers words, and saying that they will “warn” people about LBS.

I would suggest people not hide behind anonymous comments, and encourage people to hit the Contact tab above. I HAVE ALWAYS SIGNED MY NAME.  SOMETIMES VIRTUAL POPULARITY CAN MAKE ANY ONE TOTALLY DELUDED AND COCKY.
I also do not delete comments, because I do not have anything to hide. (I have deleted several of “Janes” comments below due to profane words and harassment to LBS readers. I encourage freedom of speech but do not tolerate abuse on a site made for helping each other) I WISH SHE POSTED MY ENTIRE BLOG EXPLAINING TO HER ABOUT THE ADMIN'S AUTHOR CODE OF LBS IN MY TEMPLATE.

If our blog posts are being e-mailed to you from another blog, please click on the unsubscribe link that is in the e-mail, contact the owner, and resubscribe to their blog.I HAVE COMPLETELY UNSUBSCRIBED, BUT IT WAS STILL THERE.  SO I HAD TO DELETE AND SHUT DOWN MY BLOG. ( I LOVE THAT BABY!)

Added: The only reason why I publicly posted this blog was the fact that the blogger in question, even after letting her know everything above and my intent to help her, she still publicly said that LBS had hacked into her account and he readers were coming onto LBS and claiming so, along with writing so in other places. Otherwise, I would never involve my readers in such a dispute. I understand the bloggers hard work into blogging, after all, I have worked equally as hard with LBS.  I WAS A FOLLOWER OF THIS LADY.  I EVEN HAD A BADGE (WHERE I PROBABLY GOT THE VIRUS) FROM THEIR GROUP WHEN I PARTICIPATED IN AN ABSOLUTELY LUDICROUS BLOG-HOP PICNIC.  I ONLY HAVE MYSELF TO BLAME FOR MY NOOB-NESS.I AM GLAD I AM RID OF HER UN-LADY LIKE SOCIETY AND HAVE MY NEW BLOG FREE OF THEIR MUCK, ARROGANCE AND SNOTTINESS.

“It is a great mystery that though the human heart longs for Truth, in which alone it finds liberation and delight, the first reaction of human beings to Truth is one of hostility and fear!” - Anthony de Mello

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