THINGS YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT

I did not choose to call myself a "Babbling Basher" for nothin'.

Tell you what, here's a couple of items that I have listed totally random, Things You Can Live Without.

Are you serious? Noooo... I love to hoard!

I don't understand why WE choose to clutter our already messed up sorry miserable lives and screw up the only planet, so far, us humans, can survive in.

So breathe in and tread on.  I offer no lame apologies for hitting anyone straight with a head shot, particularly if you are designed and intended to be a chronic hoard-er. Some of these items in the list are totally "in your face"!

• Exercise equipment. Hell yeah! Who are you kidding? It's bulky, useless, and honestly, either slightly used or practically, un-used. eBay it!  You can't believe how much space you can save in your flat. Are you still deluding yourself you bought this machine because it will work? Bwa hahahaha ... Grow up.

• Disposable Items. From razors to pens to diapers to wash-cloths. Everything plastic and synthetic - laminated paper plates, plastic tumblers, plastic bottles, grocery bags.  Do you know how much damage they do to planet earth? And just because you are one big, freaky lazy bum, you would prefer to annihilate the planet because you're too fuckin' comatose to clean up? Have you heard of the concept of washing? Re-usable instead of disposable? Look, if you want clean water, invest in a water filter and see how much you can save in dollars and save the world!

A planet of plastic junk

• Cable wires, electronic and digital thingies. What to do with your old consoles, game equipment, mobile phone cables, old CD or DVD players, old collections, etc.? Darn, that's not even a valid question.  Ditch 'em! After all, aren't your drawers and cabinets exploding with these bunch of useless crap? However, if you have plans on feeding your pet rat, since they love to chew on cable wires, that's another story. Perhaps you're a DVD connoisseur?  Then fine, at least purge them. Euro Trip is of course, a must-keep!

• Clothes, shoes and jewelry. Do you feel you need all these trappings in your life? Last I checked, you only have two feet, two arms, two ears and ten fingers. If there aren't enough body parts to adorn and accessorize, grow another pair of arms and feet, then dream that you're the goddess Shiva! If the clothes don't fit no more (and this includes old baby clothes) why on earth are you keeping them? Try this, DONATE! Give them away. Try to visualize how many smiles this small action will ripple effect throughout the globe. Or are you going to argue that you're trying to keep up with the Kardashians? Bite me.

The 21st Century Addam's Family

• Outdated kitchen appliances. Seriously? Did you ever use that Popcorn Popper and Popsicle Maker? Once? Twice? Never? I know some of you may find comfort and peace in the midst of kitchen clutter and mess, but give me a break! There is such a thing as "organized chaos." Listen ... Craigslist? Someone, somewhere, somehow ... those tools and implements will be meant to achieve its purpose.

• Negative Energy. Why do you want to hang around with the doom-laden people? We all have our own share of troubles. Why anyone would love to magnetize and cradle these people in their life is something I can't simply rationalize. Debbie Downers and Sad Sids are useless and meaningless negativity. If you have the choice to surround yourself with colours of the rainbow, why opt for black? Get a grip or get a shrink, quick!

• Old furniture. Fine, so it's an heirloom. (snort) Then have it assessed. It could fetch you a fortune. You could buy something you really need. But if it's just old, off-sync and totally useless in your place, why even think of squeezing it in? Sentimental much? Great, just construct another room with the heirloom as the centrepiece. Unfuckinbelievable!

• Old Toothbrushes. 'nuff said. Just check your bathroom.

• Another person to make us feel complete. Sometimes it just doesn't work that way. We should take responsibility for being the source of our own happiness. If the person you have imagined to make your life complete is the asshole you are living with, think again. You could be happier living single, but not necessarily alone and incomplete.

Awww... boo hoo hoo

What The Hell Are You On A Diet For?

Did you ever ask yourself that ii any of those ridiculous Diet Fads actually  worked, shouldn't the world be full of skinny people? And you'd probably be a skinny Supermodel without any visible cellulite?

NOT a fat, mean joke at all

So you are NOT a supermodel and cellulite is your middle name, let me tell you why your Serial Dieting is a sure FAIL!

First reason, as simple as can be.  Two words.  Think - SHORT TERM. 
DIETING is a very painful, albeit temporary solution. Sure you could shed off a couple of pounds, maybe 5-8 pounds in the first 2 weeks to a month. Well try backsliding into a thin slice of Apple Crumble for dessert and I guarantee, you will see yourself back in that iterative cycle! The yo-yo weight syndrome. Shame on you!

"What is a DIET"?

Second reason and I want you to be honest with your own experiences. 
All dieters are constantly hungry. I mean h-u-n-g-r-y! Some diets even prescribe mini-treats and sweets, since the concept of all diets happen to be the calorie intake, not the calorie burning. So chronic dieters do fasting which is the most ludicrous of all. Sure you lose some, and gain more. haha

BBG

So you fast and you starve, and reason number three is the consequence of the ridiculousness of the first two, you tire easily and succumb to fatigue and lethargy. 
Well, what did you expect? That your diet will make you euphoric? Seriously?

I am just sick and tired of hanging out with girlfriends who are chronic diet disasters. They coo and whimper,"Oh I can't have that, please, that's 980 calories a mouthful"! Dumb bitches. Diets can make your brain fart too, y'know!

Do you know  that diets cannibalize muscle mass? Yes, your body eats itself! 

 “Diets tend to pay too little attention to supporting muscle mass during periods of caloric restriction. This is important for more than just aesthetic reasons. And when you lose muscle, your basal metabolic rate drops, and you don’t burn as many calories. Most guys try to burn off the fat first and then build the muscle. To do that, you have to lower your calories so far that you don’t have the energy to train hard in the gym. You burn more muscle than fat, lowering your metabolic rate and setting the stage for weight gain..."

Yeah, all that mumbo jumbo loosely translated means:

You eat too little. Your metabolism gets retarded. You lose energy. = You look emaciated and ugly.

You see here, I am not suggesting that each day you pig out and go on a food binge. 

Life is all about balance. And the same can be said about trying to build and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I say lifestyle, not a phase or period.  Lifestyle tends to last a lifetime, not a season, nor just 21 days.

You can only do that by consciously deciding and choosing to live healthy.

If you have weight problems, consult experts on nutrition, fitness and make time to do some simple exercises. 

Walking is good exercise. Walk your pet.  Don't have a pet?  Get one.

Just don't fall in love with the false marketing claims of Quick Fixes. You didn't gain all that weight and body mass quickly.  There's no reason why you should be able to shed them off quickly either.

Plus, remember the principles of chemistry and physics. 

With certain ages, everything tends to be slower. And gravity will always pull you down!

The next time around I hear you calling out, "Oh I'm on a diet!" ... 

Allow me to end your miserable life and introduce you to the most fail safe life-changing people I know ... Mr. Smith and Wesson.  

Are You A Douchebag or An Asshole?

I insist, these terms are more than a matter of preference.  There is value in being able to differentiate what you are dealing with and how to deal with these creeps.  More often than not,  we all fall into one of these categories, some by choice, some by circumstances, others, by sheer genetics.

So which one are you?

And no, this is not a self-help post.  If you happen to be either of these class of creatures, then you are entirely on your own universe.

But what is an asshole, you ask?

An asshole - a person who is rude, arrogant, obnoxious, your boss, my ex-boss, a total dickhead, vile, loathesome, a megalomaniac and loving it; are just a couple of descriptive terms I can think of that may help you wrap your fingers around this type.  Sometimes, you use this to call out certain individuals, sometimes you hear this thrown at you.

But are you a real asshole? Are you the real deal?

Fearless examples:  Everyone at Fox News, Kanye West, Howard Stern, Jesse James, Simon Cowell, Jay Leno, most Nazis, Entire Cast of Jersey Shore ...

Moving on, you may not actually be an asshole, you can probably be a douchebag.

A douchebag - is someone who has surpassed the level of being a jerk and an asshole; a person with an ego bigger than a zeppelin, full of himself/herself, generally behaves like a stupid moron and is absolutely clueless about it;  definitely not an asshole.  

Famous douchebags:  Cristiano Ronaldo, Justine Bieber, members of various Boybands and their screaming fans, Charlie Sheen, hmmm... John Mayer, Tom Cruise, Sarah Palin ... 

Assholes often call people douchebags, the douchebags care little about the label since they are dumb as fuck to know what it means, whilst, the assholes are certainly proud to be assholes.

How do you deal with this freak show?

1. Ignore.
2. Ignore.
3. Laugh at them or make fun of them.
4. Ignore some more.
5. Set them on fire.

DON'T GET MAD, HERE'S HOW TO GET EVEN

(Author's Note:

DISCLAIMER: The information on this post are written up all in the spirit of fun and not to be tried at home. If you can't stop yourself from trying, the author will deny any responsibility and accountability to the choices and actions you make in your life as a result of reading this post. Ad nauseum.)

Have you ever been so mad you choke at your own mouth fluids, your vision blurs and your acid reflux starts to taste sweet? 

ANGER can be emotionally exhausting, physically draining and sometimes when you snap, can be humiliating and embarrassing. (It can also really make you look fugly!)

I understand that there are people who come across your peaceful life that you would like to choke the life out of.  Trust me, I have met more than enough. 
I have a friend who keeps a MUST KILL (Hit) LIST and she has had this list with her since she was 8 years old. The fact that there may be something severely wrong with the psyche of my friend is another matter,but her HIT LIST can likewise be seen as therapeutic. She has mastered the craft of detailing how she will execute these murders someday.

Now back to what I really wanted to say. Why get mad? Get even!
I seriously think there's nothing wrong with mapping out your vengeful carefully thought out plan of action instead of wasting your energy quietly seething and biting your tongue.


Do you have an ANNOYING Boss or Officemate?  Get even by:

1. Invest on a remote control Fart Machine.  The modest investment can bring you priceless returns. Good times!
2. Walk a few paces behind the bastard in the Office, and spray Lysol on everything he/she touches.
3. When your boss/office mate goes to your work station to speak to you, clamp both your hands on your ears, and sing: "lalalalalala .." to the tune of the Batman theme. Or abruptly wear a "protection mask" when you face him.
4. Fill in every coupon, online form etc you can find that is likely to result in junk mail. Use their name and address for delivery. They will have piles and piles of junk mail arriving on a daily basis, virtually forever. NOTE: If you are really vindictive, and your target is  married, then you can also ensure that as many "seedy" and porn type magazine catalogues are included in the mailings sent to them. You can choose his or her Home address or Office address. Either way, it will be fun.
5. Scatter bird seed all over his/her car from hood to bonnet (works very well in an Open Parking Space). Let the birds do their thing.

Do you have a room mate or house mate you want to get even with? Try these:

1. Tooth brush grime (self explanatory and totally gross)
2. When your house mate is on holidays, put a couple of watering pails or large mouth plastic bottles filled with water in his/her clothes cabinet. Add generous handfuls of fast growing grass seeds. Happily and peacefully wait for their return.
3. Install a Password on the phone. Feign ignorance when confronted.
4. Call the Florists. Charge COD. Order as many arrangements as you can with silly and foolish messages. Make sure you are not around on Delivery Dates.
5. Unfaithful partner with an expensive car? Ahh ... check this out

And finally, getting even with your "ex":

1. Get his picture. Post an advert. Ad should read: Specializing in "dubious" services.You can specify the services offered if you wish. Add his contact numbers and email address.
2. Talk to friends of friends. Make sure the news will get to him at some point. Sadly point out his incompetence in bed as the reason why your relationship ended. If you're feeling a little creative, Blog about it. Post the Blog link on your Facebook and Twitter.  Respect his privacy by using only his initials.
3. Post your picture looking extremely happy with your current squeeze. If he has deleted you in his Friends on FB, mail him a copy of the picture
4. If your ex is making a road trip with his current girl, you can choose any of the following options:

• Call local law enforcement and make an anonymous tip that the person is trafficking drugs and these are hidden very well in the car.  Be vague but specific and convincing enough.
• Report the car as stolen. OR. Report that it is your car that is stolen.  That you just left it in front of your Office and is now gone.
• Send a Fax to his Boss stating that he has found a better offer and is tendering his irrevocable resignation.

Of course it is is easy to say "Move on with your life and be happy" but without a doubt, it is much more exhilarating to exact anguish to people who have brought you such.

Fancy a NAME THE PICTURE GAME?

I got this short, amusing Quiz from a friend who loves silly games such as this one.  However, I failed miserably at it as I managed to guess only around 3-4 in 10 items.

And since I am such a lousy loser, I want to share them with you and see how many right answers you can get.

Much as I would like to promise a Bonus Award to the Top Smarts Dork, meh ...  I am not going to do that. Just consider them as "bragging rights" for having named them all.

As soon as I get 5 - 6 comments/participants, I will post the answers on my Comment Box. Are you ready with your smart cap on? WARNING:  Kids will do better at this, I just know they will.

Let's rock and roll: NAME THE PICTURE IS ON

PICTURE NO. 1

PICTURE NO. 2

PICTURE NO. 3

PICTURE NO. 4

PICTURE NO. 5

PICTURE NO. 6

PICTURE NO. 7

PICTURE NO. 8

PICTURE NO. 9

PICTURE NO. 10
Plus 1000 Bragging Points,
"Hey bartender, give me one of this ..."

They are pretty clever huh?  You man want to give it a shot. ;)


As promised, UPDATE!  I am mighty proud of the brave souls who tried this game and made a Comment.  You'll be surprised as how you are good at this!  Drachma, you're awesome!
Now for the ANSWERS:

1. EGGPLANT
2. DOCTOR PEPPER
3. TAP DANCERS
4. POOL TABLE
5. KING OF POP
6. (Now, hold onto your seats) I (eye) Pod
7. GATOR-AIDE
8. (K)NIGHT MARE
9. (W)HOLE MILK
10. Yup, no less ... LIGHT BEER