She's Just NOT Into You

I decided to post about this subject mainly to even out the playing field. I find the rules of engagement rather skewed towards the other gender. As I recall, they even made a book and movie out of "He's Not Just That Into You" and probably even killed it.
Well it's about time someone from the other side of the planet wrote something truthfully (or close enough) to spell this out, in the most simple terms as possible for easy read and hopefully, understanding.
I know, it's being ambitious. 
Arguably, our exceptional species find it difficult to decide amongst things or people that we actually LIKE. However, when we DON'T like, it's pretty much written on the walls in bold letters. Even a crocodile can take the hint. Unfortunately, some guys just don't get it. Either that or they are absolutely disturbed, totally damaged or with criminal intentions.
A Restraining Order can be issued on extreme cases, for the few creeps who are fiercely tenacious, bordering on stalking. If in any case you have not been served a TRO, this does not mean you have hope either.
Here's a list of a few simple and honest indicators:
1.  She avoids all points of contacts. 
You call her. Her phone directs you to voice mail all the time. You leave a message but she never calls back. You try through the Net, but she could have changed her name (probably even Status) on Facebook, Twitter, Google and tumblr or everything else in between. If she keeps her name, your Friend Request will be pending till kingdom come. It's impossible for her to update her twits and be playing games on fb if she was offline, right?
You don't need to check her Phone Directory to see for yourself the name she has assigned for you. It would be plainly spelled out as any of these: Weirdo; Scumbag; Crap Face; Dick the Douche; Joe Creepo; to name a few. 
If she likes you, she'll call back. If you send her a text, she'll reply. If she does and all you get is: "Oh yeah, it's you, lol." Honestly? "lol, yeah" is technically translated to: "NO, I don't like you." Some of us are really just too nice to break it into, "why are you calling me? I don't want you to."  

2.  She tries to be subtle and polite.

If you asked her out and she does not say outright, "Hell, no" BUT she keeps on rescheduling, cancelling or giving excuses about having to check her calendar - nah, she's absolutely cold. You see, we have our priorities, and for things we consider important, we MAKE time. 
You have to at least be more important than a foot scrub. Or are you still buying her excuse that her pooch or cat is sick every Thursday and Friday night, every single week? Get a life.
3. She plays Hopscotch. With You.
She is avoiding all types of physical contact at all costs. We have our personal space and we only allow people into that space that we choose. 
You move one step closer, and she moves one step back ... you try to touch her whilst you speak and she flinches ... you brush your thigh against hers and she nearly pukes ... yep. 
In the rare moments when you could have her alone, all her girlfriends box her out tighter than a full court defence. 'Nuff said.

4. She finds you UN-Funny.

If we happen to like you, no matter how silly, corny or even stupid your joke is, we laugh. Heartily even. We throw our head back, we flip our hair. We'll make it a point to at least smile, even if the joke sucks.If you see a different look on our face similar to a constipated growl, it's time you reconsider.

5. She babbles about her cute crushes, her "hot dates' or the cute guy she just met.

Come on, this is not rocket science. Get used to hearing, "Oh him, yeah, he's a good friend."

Friend zoned.

6. She has a boyfriend/husband/fiancee'/ex/someone else she is sleeping with.

She's attached. She's never ever leaving Mr. Whoever. The odds are against you. She could even be lying about a certain Mr. Whoever just to get rid of you. Whatever it is, you're likely Contingency Plan Number 5, anyway.

7. She always "forgets."

When you think of the female brain, think in terms of elephant brain. We never forget, well hardly ever. If you have made plans with her and then she completely forgets, don't be so stupid! Chances are, there was something better to do, or likely someone better to do -- and it ain't you!

Still not getting it? Here, let me stamp it out for you.