Things To Ponder

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those

little bottles of Evian water?

Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing

section in a swimming pool?

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3.  OK..... So if the  Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags'

and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,'  what does

that make the Tennessee Titans?

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4.  If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one

enjoys it?

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5.  There are three religious truths:

        a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

    c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

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6.   If people from  Poland  are called Poles, why aren't people from

Holland  called Holes?

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7.  If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

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8.   Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale

bread to begin with?

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9  Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person

who drives a race car is not called a racist?

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10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

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11.   If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it

follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys

deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners

depressed?

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12.  If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

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13.   Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

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14.   What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of  bald men?

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15.   I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole

lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming

for their final exam.

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16.  I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little

spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?

Toothpicks?

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17.   Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?

What are we supposed to do, write to them?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the

mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

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18.  If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly

are the others here for?

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19.   You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive!

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21.   Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

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22.   If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

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23.   Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

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24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two

words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells   .....'THEIRS'?

All in the spirit of fun!